ADVICE FOR EMMA

Emma is a dear friend with a common problem. Emma has 4 lovely children, a wonderful husband and a beautiful home. She is a gorgeous woman both inside and out and has more then most when it comes to the pleasures of life. However, Emma has this one small problem. Its called guilt. Emma is a terrific mother to her 4 children. She cooks she cleans, she makes the beds, does the laundry and cleans up after everyone in the  house.(this is no easy task in her house I might add). Emma takes care of everyone so well in fact, that she has made no time during her very busy fulfilling life for herself.
She constantly states how lucky she is and how she would feel guilty taking a spa day or a day out to spend with just the girls. Emma refuses to take time out just for her.

MY ADVICE FOR EMMA
Emma you are a beautiful woman who deserves the beautiful things you have been given in life. So many of us mothers and wives feel that our jobs of taking care of our families comes with a contract stating we are NOT allowed to take time for ourselves. This cannot be any further from the truth. As a wife and mother it should be made law that you must take time out for you!
There is nothing more important then family but in order to be a warm, wonderful, well intentioned wife and mother it is essential that we learn to take care of ourselves as well as our families. So many women forget who they are when they become wives and mothers. They lose all sense of self-worth and eventually fall into deep depression due to lack of paying attention to themselves. In order to be the perfect wife and mother it is imperative that a woman take care of herself first. We want to teach our children to be self confident and have self worth. That means presenting yourself well groomed and being the very best you can be. This does require, hair styling, massages, make up and regular spa treatments. Our children need to learn from our example that in order to love others we must first love ourselves. Its virtually impossible to love yourself if you are unkempt and not taken care of. There is nothing wrong with spending a little money on things that beautify us and keep us looking our best. Once in a while being treated to a night out and hiring a sitter can only make us appreciate the time we spend with our families more. Getting away for a girls weekend without the hubby and kids will in fact make us well rested rejuvenated an in turn treat our families with more love and attention.
If it is budgeted correctly and planned appropriately taking time out for you and you alone is perfectly acceptable and in fact a perfect necessity to continue being a warm, wonderful well intentioned wife and mother. Let go of the guilt girls and take care of you!

ADVICE FOR JENN

Jenn is a great friend of mine who has a husband who is a control freak. Jenn is the epitome of lovely , intelligent, and sweet as chocolate pie. She is the kind of person who goes out of her way to help a friend and goes even further to please her family.
While being a mother and wife some may thing she sits at home and eats bon bons all day living off her husbands money. This couldn't be further from the truth. She spends countless hours cleaning and organizing the house so when her husband comes home there's not a crumb on the floor nor a speck of dust on the furniture. She browses cookbooks and Internet cooking sites daily to find practically perfect dishes to prepare for dinner and regularly prepares a decadent dessert with her extra extraordinary meals to delight her husbands unique and well fed taste buds. Ladies, I do not lie when I say this woman puts Donna Reed to shame and makes Mrs Brady look like the Octo mom.
That being said, the unfortunate part is that her husband seems unfazed and surprisingly unimpressed with her continuous efforts to please him. He rarely compliments her creative cooking attempts and often boasts fun at them leaving her feeling embarrassed and utterly unappreciated. Yet even though she never seems to get the raving reaction she's so yearning  for she continues cooking and cleaning hoping next time he will give her the love affection and proper praise she so clearly deserves.

My humble advice to you my dearest friend is to please tell this man exactly how you feel. I would never give the advice to anyone to walk out of a marriage based solely on the fact that one partner is under appreciated. Make no mistake there is no abuse going on here and Jenn's husband does provide plentifully for himself and his beautiful family. However is it really that much to ask for a little love, a simple smile or two and a smidgen of over due appreciation for a woman who obviously adores you? The answer; I think not!
Jenn you need to become slightly more assertive and stand up to your man loudly and proudly. Its time for the little voice inside you to come out and play and say "hey husband : look at me, look at me!"
You are a remarkable woman with so many beautiful gifts to offer. You go out of your way to please those you love especially the man of you dreams. There is no reason in the world he shouldn't go out of his way to return the favor. I truly believe when he finds out how your heart feels inside that he will man up, step up to the plate and become the home-run husband you have always known he could be. Good luck my beautiful friend.... My heart is with you always.